3 Things to Help You Stop Feeling Like a Failure

feeling like a failure

Before writing this blog post, I asked myself, “Why should my readers care about this? Why should they take the time to read this blog post?” And this is what I came up with. As someone who is extremely goal-oriented and passionate about achieving what I set my heart and mind to, feeling like a failure is not foreign to me. I hate losing and when I don’t attain what I’m after, I get frustrated simply because I want to win…at everything (it is what it is, folks).

Thankfully, I don’t believe in giving up or quitting (although I definitely want to at times). I refuse to settle for less than what I’m aiming for. Maybe it’s the athlete in me, I don’t know, but I show up every day to compete.

For obvious reasons, we cannot always win. There are times we “take an L” and come up short. As a result, we find ourselves feeling like a failure.

How could I let this happen? What did I do wrong? Why can’t I get it right? Will I ever reach my goal? 

These are all actual thoughts I’ve had when I’ve failed to meet my goals.

If you want to see how much a person really cares about something, watch how they respond to failure and coming up short. 

Too many people miss out on the grandest adventures because they let failure get the best of them rather than using it as a leverage to catapult themselves towards the things they want most. Failure is PART of success, not the end of it. 

I’m about to get real honest here because this is, by far, one of the most important lessons I have ever learned! I’m extremely excited to write about this. Not just because finally reaching (one of) your goals is basically the best feeling ever, but because I’ve learned to appreciate and learn from failure instead of letting it make me question my lofty goals.

That being said…I finally reached my traffic goals! I know that doesn’t seem like a big deal at all (which I guess it kinda isn’t) but I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REACH THIS GOAL FOR THE PAST 6 MONTHS. I’ve fallen short every single time. EVERY DAD GUM TIME.

So when I say I can relate to those of you who are feeling like a failure, I mean it. I FAILED TO REACH MY GOALS 6 MONTHS IN A ROW. THAT’S HALF OF A YEAR, PEOPLE.

HALF.

OF.

A.

YEAR.

That’s more than 50 blog posts.

I could’ve lowered my goals and settled for less than what I really wanted…but I didn’t…because when we choose to pursue a goal, we’re choosing to experience everything that comes with it. This includes the high times and the low times…the times when everything seems to be happening and the times when absolutely nothing seems to be happening.

BUT WE ARE ONLY HUMAN BEINGS AND IT’S COMPLETELY NORMAL TO FIND OURSELVES FEELING LIKE A FAILURE AT TIMES. What matters is how we HANDLE that feeling. Do we let it get the best of us or do we take it and run? 

feeling like a failure

Can I tell you something?

I pray for you guys and my blog. I’m always praying for the right person, that one person, to come across my blog post who needs to read it. HOWEVER, there are days I try to take matters into my own hands. I try to do everything in my own strength and on my own time.

This past month, I DELIBERATELY made an effort to surrender my blog and traffic to God every single day. My prayer for the month of August was, “God, I’m feeling like a failure. I cannot do this on my own strength. I feel so weak and tired and frustrated. Here, take it. I trust you with my blog and my traffic. I’m laying it at your feet. If tomorrow comes and I try to take matters into my own hands, help me lay it back down. Help me do that every single day.”

Can I tell you something else?

I have never felt so relieved in my life.

When I surrendered my blog and traffic to Him daily, a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I didn’t feel like I had to try so hard. Don’t get me wrong, I worked my tail off! But I knew, ultimately, at the end of the day, it was in God’s hands. Not my own. The future of my blog does not depend on me and I forgot that.

It’s been freeing to rediscover and be reminded God has ultimate control.

Finally achieving my goals has reminded me that hard work does pay off, in His timing, not my own.

Here are 3 things to do when you’re feeling like a failure.

1. Refuse to give up. 

Success doesn’t happen by chance or luck and it doesn’t come to just anyone. It shows up when a person continues to press on despite feeling like a failure.

When we give up, we’re missing out on literally WHO KNOWS WHAT.

God is capable of anything but we’ll never see what He can do unless we are persistent and continue moving forward. 

Failure should not be and is not the end of the journey. It’s a delicate and necessary part, if handled correctly. Find the courage to keep going and refuse to give in to the pressure. These shortcomings do not define you and they shouldn’t stop you from chasing after what you want. You’re allowed to have goals and dreams and wishes.

Give yourself permission to be unrelenting in your pursuit. 

2. Don’t you dare lower your standards.

Achieving your lofty goals will be easier said than done. You’ll be tempted to set the bar lower rather than keeping it high. There’s no excitement in saying you failed to reach your goal…but there’s not much to be proud of if you met a goal only after lowering it. 

Set your goals high and don’t lower them for anything or anyone.

There is no shame is setting high goals and continuing to push towards them, failure after failure.

If you ask me, settling for anything less than what you really want is the only sure way to fail. Well…that, and giving up, of course.

Don’t lessen a goal for the sake of your pride. It’s not worth it. Being able to proudly say, “I finally reached my goals after failing 100 times” is far more noble than saying, “I failed to meet my goals so I lowered the bar and settled for less than what I really wanted.”

The choice is yours to make. 

3. Hand your goals to God. 

Every single morning, make it a point to literally tell God, “It’s all yours.” Because that’s where our lives need to be…in His hands! I WISH I HAD DONE THIS SOONER. 

Make it a daily habit rather than something you do every once in a while when you’re desperate. I waited until I was desperate. Though better late than never, when we put off daily surrender, we’re placing an even heavier burden on ourselves…a burden that should have never been there in the first place!

If you’re feeling like a failure, I can assure you that pressure is not from God.

He merely wants your best and your all, so give it to Him and allow yourself to experience the joy and freedom that comes with letting Him handle things. 

You’re not meant to do this on your own power and might.

Admit your weaknesses and rely solely on God’s strength and power and watch His sovereignty soar. 

Remember, these may be your hopes and your dreams and your goals, but ultimately they were God’s first.

Feeling like a failure diminishes when we stop relying on our own strength and lean into God’s faithfulness instead.

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Comments

    1. Kristin Koonce Post author

      There are no stupid questions! 😊 I hand something to God by coming to Him with open arms & saying, “Here it is, it’s all yours.” I lay my plans & desires & schedule & to-do list & dreams at His feet & remind myself of what’s most important: I’m a child of God. Nothing I do or don’t do changes that. My job is not to make things happen. My job is simply to be obedient. It’s a daily decision I have to make to set aside my selfish desires, my plans & how I hope/expect things to happen…because I’m guilty of wanting to have control of everything. I am a control freak! 😂 The way I understand it, it’s a conscious decision we have to make to trust that God’s plans are better & that He’s sovereign over anything & everything we face. When we try to take matters into our own hands, we’re putting God in a box & basically saying we don’t trust Him enough & we don’t take Him at His word…even though we 100% should!

      Does that help some? Feel free to email me at mail@kristinkoonce.com if you want to talk even further and discuss it more! ❤️

      Reply

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