Finding peace during difficult times is NOT an easy thing to do.
Life has been HECTIC and these past few months have been hard and long. I’ve had a LOT of tests done so it’s been one doctor’s appointment after another. I’d take a test, wait two weeks, and get the results…only to find out those results would require another test…and so on, and so on!
This has been going on since…I don’t even know! The end of February? The beginning of March? I DON’T KNOW.
I’ve heard, “Well…I’ve got good news and bad news” way too many times. I’m not going to get into specifics because I don’t think that’s important and that’s not why I’m writing this post. I will, however, be writing a blog post (soonish) about what started all this because I do believe that part is important to share!
Thankfully, by the grace of God, everything is FINE.
During these last few months, I’ve asked myself several questions. There was one question in particular that was constantly in the back of my mind…
WHAT IF the worst-case scenario happens?
I’ll be completely honest, I was scared of the possibility at first. I cried that first day because the unknown can be TERRIFYING. You would think we’d be professionals at trusting God with the unknown by now! It never gets any easier, though. At least…not for me. I have to walk myself through the process EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Anyway, after getting over the initial shock of what could be, I had to get real and ask myself, “Kristin, what IF??? How are you going to handle it? How will you go about finding peace?”
I couldn’t be naive or ignorant about this because I know scary things happen. I had to prepare myself spiritually for the worst-case scenario.
Obviously, this wasn’t what I had expected (nor hoped for) but it was a real possibility that I needed to take seriously.
These were my thoughts:
“No, the worst-case scenario wouldn’t be ideal…but I know God arranges our lives in a way that gives Him maximum glory, so I can’t be mad if this is what He knows is best. And if I’m serious about glorifying Him above all else, I am called to do exactly that. REGARDLESS OF THE RESULTS.”
Did I want the worst-case scenario to happen? No. Did I want to glorify God? Yes.
Those two answers sound contradicting, don’t they? Well, it’s because they are (hahaha). This is the struggle of being both a Human Being and a Christian…am I right!?!? As imperfect, flawed humans, we feel and experience both sides of it.
My prayers were literally, “God, please don’t let it be true. Please let me receive negative test results and PLEASE let everything be okay! But also, if this is Your will, then okay, I’m down. Count me in. I don’t want it, but I want to do what will glorify You the most. So if that’s what You want…then I want it, too. Kinda. Like, I don’t want it to happen but I want to do what will bring you the most glory. You know what I mean, right?”
Yes, those were my prayers.
Sure enough, God helped me be at peace about the situation and I was prepared. If He didn’t want that cup to pass, then by golly, I was going to drink it!
Again, this wasn’t a place I found myself at immediately. Finding peace during difficult times can be really hard at times, and it was for me. It took several days, but God did help me get there. Better late than never, right?
Although I’m DEFINITELY glad the process is over (seriously…if I had to wear ONE MORE HOSPITAL GOWN!!!!), I’m so thankful it happened because I needed a reality check. I needed a spirituality check.
Not to mention…it drew me closer to God and I could never be mad or upset about that!
I understand this blog post would have been a lot more…dramatic? useful? beneficial? if I were actually facing the worst-case scenario. I’m sure it may seem odd that I’m even writing about it.
However, during these last few months, I’ve learned we don’t need to wait until we’re asking ourselves, “What if???”
We are called to glorify God NO MATTER WHAT CUP IS PLACED IN FRONT OF US.
In any and all circumstances, Christ should be at the very center.
Finding peace begins and ends with Him; Jesus should be our peace when we face the storms of life.
Because WHAT IF??? WHAT IF we don’t ever get married?? WHAT IF we lose our job? Or WHAT IF we aren’t able to have kids or WHAT IF we have to move? WHAT IF our husband/wife leaves? WHAT IF?????
We never really find ourselves thinking about the worst-case scenario until we could possibly be facing the worst-case scenario.
It’s important we remind ourselves that, in everything, God is working on our behalf and for His highest glory. Sometimes we have to pour ourselves out as an offering for the sake of another’s soul.
The question is…how are we going to handle it? What are we going to do about it?
Will we allow our bitterness to take over and take it out on other people? Are we going to complain about it? Will we doubt God’s goodness?
Finding peace during difficult times will require a steadfast trust that God sees the big picture. He’s going to take care of us. It may not be in the way we hope or expect, but that doesn’t make Him any less good.
My prayer for you, and for me, is that we be willing to bear the negative results for God’s greater glory. Whatever circumstances we find ourselves in, I pray we trust God is in control and that He has our best interest in mind. God is not surprised by our situation. He is completely aware, and He’s not going anywhere.
May we be willing to drink from the cup He places in front of us and find peace during difficult times.