Hi. This may or may not be a rant post about why it’s okay to be single, so proceed with caution.
But first, a story.
A few months ago, I went out to eat by myself. When I walked inside, the door greeter routinely asked, “How many?” I, being alone, smiled and said, “Just one!”
The girl hesitated for a moment and a confused look appeared on her face. She held up her pointer finger and asked, “One?” I smiled again and lightheartedly affirmed, “Yep, one. It’s just me!” I then stood and watched as the greeter turned around and whispered my “predicament” (THAT I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW I WAS IN) to the three men standing behind her.
The men, noticeably uncomfortable, began squirming and exchanging puzzled glances with each other (again, as I’m still standing there).
Finally, the guy who drew the (invisible) short straw stepped forward so he could seat me.
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.
Once seated, my waiter appeared to take my drink order.
“Just one???” he asked.
“Just one!” I said.
Next thing I know, the waiter is setting tortillas down on my table! Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE tortillas. I was VERY grateful the waiter put them on my table, but you only get tortillas when you ask for them and I didn’t ask for them. Which means they were…that’s right…PITY TORTILLAS!
Basically, I got free tortillas for being single, and if that doesn’t convince you it’s okay to be single, I don’t know what will.
I’m kidding. Kinda.
While eating my tortillas, I realized…the way those workers reacted to me eating alone is a good representation of how society views singleness!
When I told the door greeter and waiter I was eating alone, they both questioned, “Just one?????” They couldn’t believe their ears! And let’s not forget about the wiggle worms and pity tortillas.
Having someone come in wanting to eat alone was so foreign to them, they get uncomfortable.
In the same way, society acts taken aback when a person says they’re not in a relationship and/or they’re not married. NOTICEABLY SHOCKED, they questioned, “Whaaaaaaaat???? You’re single?????”
It’s so foreign to them, they get uncomfortable.
They squirm, they fidget. THEY CAN’T BELIEVE THEIR EARS.
*cue soap box*
IT’S OKAY TO EAT ALONE, AND IT’S OKAY TO BE SINGLE.
WE DO NOT HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE, GRADUATE, GET MARRIED, GET A JOB, AND HAVE KIDS.
Now, before I continue, I want you to know that in NO WAY do I think that’s the wrong way to do things.
I just don’t think it’s the ONLY way.
Unfortunately, and I do mean unfortunately, society tries to make us believe otherwise by setting a standard based off worldly statistics, not the word of God.
Society tells us we have to be married for our life to have purpose, worth, or meaning. If we’re NOT married or in a relationship, they tells us our standards are too high and we should lower them (AKA: settle). Society tells us we’ve failed because we didn’t get married right out of college and we cannot make a significant difference in this world as a single individual.
I beg to differ.
It’s okay to be single.
Your life does not start when you get married. It has ALREADY STARTED.
With or without a spouse, you have purpose (Psalm 139:16), God has a plan for you (Proverbs 3:5-6), and God will work through you (Ephesians 2:10). You are still His beloved, with or without a spouse.
Your worth is not found in a relationship, nor is it found in marriage. The ONLY relationship your worth is found in is YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST. You are capable of living a purposeful life worthy of the Gospel of Christ whether you are single or married.
Don’t let the desires of society’s heart for you cause you to doubt or question God’s desires for you.
As I mentioned in Savor Your Singleness, “Having a man on your arm means nothing if you’re not content with leaning on the everlasting arms. God can, and will, use you whether you’re single or not. You have not missed His calling for your life and you are not outside of His will. You are smack-dab in the middle of it. He has you where you are for a reason.”
It is better to remain single and strive for a life of spiritual integrity than settle for a relationship that does not daily lead you to the cross.
What SOCIETY THINKS is best for your life is completely different than what GOD KNOWS is best for your life. THEREFORE, IT’S OKAY TO BE SINGLE.
The restaurant was going to serve me a good meal, with or without someone to eat it with. In the same way, the life God has planned for me is going to be good, with or without a spouse.
Don’t settle for less than God’s best for you. Even if your singleness makes people squirm.
Just take the pity tortillas and get on your way because the work you’re doing is important, needed, and necessary.
Also, treat yourself (and your single friends) to one of my “LOVE DEEPLY” comfort color t-shirts that are based off 1 Peter 4:8!