For the Person Who Doesn’t Want to Make New Friends (Right Now)

Make New Friends

I have a confession to make. For the past two years, I have been in a serious funk and have not wanted to make new friends. AT ALL. I’ve had absolutely NO DESIRE to make new friends in any form or fashion. In no way whatsoever has that sounded appealing to me…WHICH IS THE WORST, I KNOW. But it’s the honest truth and I HAVE TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST.

“I’M NOT IN THE MOOD TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS!!!!!!” has literally been my post-college motto.

I’d yell it just like that, too.

That’s how much I didn’t feel like doing it.

I literally went from being in a sorority of 400 girls (where you literally made a new friend…or 12…every day) and loving every minute of it to moving back home and NOT WANTING TO MEET ONE SINGLE PERSON.

ZIP.

ZERO.

NONE.

I’ve just been burned out to the max. Making new friends is a hard, long process and it requires a lot of effort…something I just didn’t feel like giving. I’ll put diligent effort into my blog all day long…but make new friends?

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I didn’t start reaching out to people (read: one person) until this past January. Honestly, my brain and heart and soul couldn’t handle more than that. I know that sounds extremely dramatic.

Well, that’s because it is.

I’M DRAMATIC, EVERYONE.

There, I said it.

I just needed time, ya know?

I physically and emotionally did not feel like making friends.

Do you ever feel like that?

Like you just need time to be a human being who doesn’t (and DOESN’T WANT TO) have their you-know-what together all the time?

FOR TWO YEARS, I didn’t have it in me to make new friends.

BUT I LOVE PEOPLE??????

At least, I thought I did.

What is wrong with me??????

Why am I being such a big baby about this??????

I know Truth, you guys. I’m fully aware of what God’s word says about community…but my heart doesn’t always want to pursue God’s best for me as soon as He’d probably like for me to! #Awk #ForgiveMeFather

Make New Friends

I knooowwwwwww community is important, ain’t nobody have to tell me that! I didn’t want to make new friends. So, I didn’t. I was in a funk and I WOULD GET OUT OF THE FUNK WHEN I WAS READY TO GET OUT OF THE FUNK.

Sometimes we just get in funks. I don’t know why, but it happens.

There have been periods of time when I haven’t wanted to go to church or read my Bible. My soul just gets tired and I’m like, “I JUST DON’T FEEL LIKE DOING THAT RIGHT NOW, OKAY!?!? IS THAT A CRIME????? CAN EVERYBODY JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT IT?????”

The hardest part about growing up and beginning a new chapter of your life is finding (read: making) time to make new friends. Post-college is fun, don’t get me wrong. I LOVE IT. It’s way better than college…but it’s also a heck of a lot harder than college…ESPECIALLY when it comes to making new friends.

I mean…friends don’t just fall into your lap. You actually have to get out of your shell and go find them. You can’t just pull a Bewitched and nose-twitch your way into making new friends.

Believe me, I’ve tried.

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I HAVEN’T WANTED TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS AND I HAVEN’T WANTED TO TALK ABOUT NOT WANTING TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS.

Mostly because I thought I was the only one who ever felt this way! I felt ashamed for not putting myself out there and trying to make new friends ASAP…but guess what????

I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE.

There are other people who haven’t wanted to make new friends…and you might be one of them! That’s why I’m writing this! We are in this thing together.

You’ll be happy to know I’m finally searching for a small group to get involved with AND I’m looking for organizations to join. I know it’s not going to be easy and I’m going to have to get out of my comfort zone, but it’s time, you guys.

AFTER TWO LONG YEARS, I’ve finally mustered up the energy and desire to make new friends. 

If you’re someone who hasn’t had the desire to make new friends right now, please know you’re not alone in feeling that way. It DOES happen and I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’m sorry I haven’t spoken up about it sooner!

To be honest, I don’t have much advice for you. This blog post was mostly just a confession I felt I needed to share in case you’re walking where I’ve been.

Basically, even though we know what is best for our life, we’re not always in the mood to chase after it. At least, I’m not. I don’t know if that’s necessarily a good or bad thing…or if it simply means we’re human.

Regardless, just know you’re not alone.

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