Are you selling yourself short in relationships? I’M ABOUT TO SHOOT IT TO YA STRAIGHT.
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I see WAY too many people settling for any relationship that comes along. They’re the first guy/girl to show you attention so they must be the one, right?
WRONG (though sometimes this very well could be the case…but rarely).
I’m obviously not an expert (#AsSingleAsItGets) so feel free to take this blog post as lightly as you’d like. I am writing from the perspective of someone who is single (I’ve never been in a relationship) and perfectly okay and at peace with it.
The Christ-centered relationships that surround me encourage me.
There are couples in my life who serve as a constant reminder that the person God has in store for me (that is…if marriage is even part of His plans for me) is worth the wait.
That being said, I believe there are three reasons people sell themselves short in relationships/friendships:
- they don’t believe they deserve better
- they’re scared of being alone
- it’s all they know
Now…I’M GONNA LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET!
1. You do deserve better.
Your past absolutely does NOT define you. We all make mistakes and fall short and say/do things we regret.
However, when we deliberately make it a point to learn from our shortcomings and do better the next time around, our past no longer has a grip on us.
Staying in a relationship (or friendship!) that’s toxic is not healthy. Don’t let the opinions of others cause you to settle.
Believing you deserve better does not mean you devalue the other person. Nor does it mean you think you’re better than them.
It simply means you value yourself enough to know when something isn’t right.
You are not unworthy of true love because of your past. Don’t believe me? Go read Redeeming Love. It’s basically the story of a modern-day Hosea. This is the only novel I’ve ever read (LOL) but it was TOTALLY worth it and I definitely recommend reading it! It highlights God’s love for sinners and how He redeems us through that love!
Again, stop selling yourself short in relationships.
Here’s an excerpt I pulled from a previous blog post:
WE DO NOT HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE, GRADUATE, GET MARRIED, GET A JOB, AND HAVE KIDS.
In NO WAY do I think that’s the wrong way to do things. I just don’t think it’s the ONLY way.
Unfortunately, and I do mean unfortunately, society tries to make us believe otherwise by setting a standard based off worldly statistics, not the word of God. Society tells us we have to be married for our life to have purpose, worth, or meaning. If we’re NOT married or in a relationship, they tell us our standards are too high and we should lower them (AKA: S E T T L E).
Society tells us we’ve failed because we didn’t get married right out of college and we cannot make a significant difference in this world as a single individual.
OH PLEASE. I beg to differ. Your life does not start when you get married. It has ALREADY STARTED.
With or without a spouse, you have purpose (Psalm 139:16), God has a plan for you (Proverbs 3:5-6), and God will work through you (Ephesians 2:10).
You are still His beloved, with or without a spouse.
Your worth is not found in a relationship, nor is it found in marriage. The ONLY relationship your worth is found in is YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST.
You are capable of living a purposeful life worthy of the Gospel of Christ whether you are single or married.
Don’t let the desires of society’s heart for you cause you to doubt or question God’s desires for you.
Need I say more?
3. You do have options.
Please do not approach dating (or life in general) as if you don’t have options because you most certainly do.
There really are other fish in the sea. Don’t limit yourself to what’s right in front of you. I can assure you this is not all there is.
Being in a relationship is not what’s important. That’s not what matters. Focus on being in the RIGHT KIND of relationship. That’s what you should be concerned about.
Stop getting into relationships simply to pass time.
People are not meant to be used as placeholders.
Get out of there if something isn’t right and give yourself permission to know what you want.
The type of person you bring home should not shock your friends and family. If they do, it may be time to reevaluate your intentions and check your motives.
If someone likes you, don’t return the favor out of obligation. Be sincere. Not sympathetic. If you’re not feelin’ it, YOU’RE NOT FEELIN’ IT. End of story. Don’t force yourself to reciprocate feelings you don’t actually have just because you believe this is all there is.
Think you have limited options? Read When God Writes Your Love Story.
Relationships should be about Christ-centeredness, not convenience.
Stop selling yourself short in relationships.
Make a list of what you’re looking for in a guy/girl. Pray over that list. Pray for your future spouse and ask God for the courage and patience to wait for the person He has set aside for you. Allow yourself to grow in this season of waiting and uncertainty.
Make wise choices and honor your future spouse now.
Despite what society tells you or what you currently believe, you do deserve better, it’s okay to be single, and you do have other options.
Stop selling yourself short in relationships.
If he doesn’t treat you like a princess, he’s not your prince and if she doesn’t treat you like a king, she’s not your queen.
Life is too short to be stuck in the middle of a toxic, negative, draining relationship. Quit settling for less than God’s best for you. The guy/girl He has in store for you will build you up, encourage you, and make you want to be a better person.
END OF STORY!
So, stop selling yourself short in relationships!
P.S. — NEVER MISS A POST! You can follow along with this blog series here. UP NEXT: Stop Selling Yourself Short at Work