Tangled Hair & Tangled Hearts

I somehow convinced my niece to let me brush her hair the other night. I put Mirror, Mirror on the TV and then had her sit in my lap on the couch.

She handed me her brush.

Her hair had been in braids all day long and had endured both the pool and the playground. Although it was now clean, I knew it would be a fight to the finish to get the tangles out. We’re talking TANGLE OVERLOAD.

I grabbed the Detangler Spray and began squirting my life away.

As I sat behind her and watched her tiny shoulders rise each time the bristles got caught in a knot, head tucked in tight to protect herself from more pain, I found myself thinking about the journey towards sanctification.

I don’t like seeing my niece in pain. I hate when the brush gets stuck in a knot because I know it really is hurting her tender head. My heart breaks a little each time and I wonder if I hate knowing she’s in pain as a result of my touch as much, if not more, than she hates being in pain.

Although it’s hard for this tiny human to understand, I don’t like seeing her in pain…but the pain is necessary in order to get the knots out. Each tug, stroke, and pull-apart is needed in order for her to have smooth, knot-free hair. There’s no workaround. That’s the only way to get the knots out…for good!

She doesn’t know I’m holding her hair just above the knot as tightly as possible to lessen the tug. She doesn’t know I’m drenching her already wet hair with Detangler Spray to soften the blow.

All she feels is the pain.

Then, of course, there’s the occasional r-less proclamation, “Ow! You’wuh ‘huhding’ me!”

*heart clutch*

I am wincing right along with her because I know she is hurting!

All that to say, my niece may not like everything I’m doing, but I do think she knows I am just trying to get the tangles out.

I think she really does want smooth hair!

She just doesn’t like the process she has to undergo to get there.

Nonetheless, there she sits.

I think the journey towards sanctification, becoming like Jesus, both looks and feels a lot like my 6-year-old niece having her hair brushed…

…only instead of tangles, it’s sin…and instead of a brush, it’s our circumstances—our smaller stories—that are causing the pain.

For my niece, the goal is to get the tangles out so she’ll have smooth hair.

For God, the goal is to make us into little Christs…to make us holy!

I envision myself climbing into God’s lap and entrusting Him with my “brush” (soul) as he tends to the “tangles” (sin) in my “hair” (life).

In 1 Thessalonians 5:23, Paul writes: "May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."

God is greatly and deeply concerned with the well-being of our soul, and I believe He is intentional about tending to the sin in our life in order to make us look more like Jesus. I believe He uses our circumstances to sanctify us through and through so that our whole spirit, soul, and body may be kept blameless when we are (finally!) called home.

The journey towards sanctification is painful, though. It hurts.

I imagine God clutching His own heart as He watches our shoulders rise each time we endure the pain of our smaller story with our heads tucked in tight in order to protect ourselves from more pain.

Like my niece, we can’t see everything God is doing around us. We are completely unaware and oblivious to all the specific ways He is extending His grace and mercy.

All we feel is the pain.

That, too, is the mercy and grace of God!

I imagine He is wincing right along with us because He knows we’re hurting.

Here’s the thing—

I may not like everything God allows in my life, and you will certainly hear me complain about it at times, but there is no denying that God loves me unconditionally.

He loves you unconditionally, too.

Just as I tended to the tangles in my niece’s hair, I believe God tends to the sin in our life…and I believe He uses our circumstances to shape us into the likeness of Christ.

“Narrow Road living” is not meant to be easy. It’s not comfortable or convenient…nor does it make sense!

However, each moment, each twist and turn, is an opportunity to know God more deeply than we did before.

I want to trust, and I mean REALLY trust, God’s plan for my life—to draw me nearer to Him and make me more like Jesus—and I want to lean into whatever it is He is asking of me.

So, I climb into His lap and hand Him my brush. I look over my shoulder and see His soft smile and His gentle eyes looking back at mine.

I turn back around…

…and the journey towards sanctification continues.

“For God, the goal is to make us into little Christs…to make us holy!”

“God is greatly and deeply concerned with the well-being of our soul, and I believe He is intentional about tending to the sin in our life in order to make us look more like Jesus. I believe He uses our circumstances to sanctify us through and through so that our whole spirit, soul, and body may be kept blameless when we are (finally!) called home.”